Struggling with heartache as I watched dear friends deal with the loss of their loved ones this week. News of two tragedies among friends in 48 hours. Untimely deaths… accidents… spouses, children, & dear friends left behind. I have been in a dumb haze for a few days fighting back this mist in my eyes. It is crazy to me how something can happen across the country, a thousand miles away to a dear friend, yet it still hits me viciously like a brick wall. I keep thinking, “Is this really happening? Is this real? This can’t be real!” I feel shock, sadness, fear, anger, confusion. My heart aches for these families left behind.
I have been reading through “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp for a few weeks with a handful of friends — fellow mommies. This book has been such a blessing and a comfort to me, and this week it has been a literal Godsend. A precious reminder of the fantastically good nature of God and his extravegantly loving heart for us, particularly in the midst of tragedy and heartbreak. Wow did I need to be reminded of this.
We ask tough questions. So did Ann after her own heartbreak after watching her baby sister die in her parent arms after accidentally being run over by a truck:
“Can there be a good God? A God who graces with good gifts when a crib lies empty through long nights and bugs burrow through coffins? Where is God, really? How can He be good when babies die, and marriages implode, and dreams blow away, dust in the wind? Where is grace bestowed when cancer gnaws and loneliness aches and nameless places in us soundlessly die, break off without reason, erode away. Where hides this joy of the Lord, this God who fills the earth with good things, and how do I fully live when life is full of hurt? How do I wake up to joy and grace and beauty and all that is the fullest life when I must stay numb to losses and crushed dreams and all that empties me out?”
– Excerpt from Ann Voskamp‘s book, One Thousand Gifts
I am loving exploring the answers to those tough questions along with her the past few weeks… and in light of the events of the past few days — just the reminder my heart needed. It is helping me process these recent event and bringing me to a place of hope and joy.
Praying for the loved ones working through their loss this week.
Thank You, God that you have their precious hearts in your hand.
Thank you that those who have passed did know and love you,
and that one day we will meet again and worship before your throne together.
Thank you for your reminders of the good you have intended for us.